The Guardian fearlessly stands guard in front of our chair swing.
The Guardian
The Guardian is the protector and mascot of Hanszen College. After a Beer Bike Week jack in which the
Hanszen swing was stolen,
a Hanszenite welded the metal knight to forever guard the swing. So today in the Hanszen quad stands The
Guardian – fiercly defending all things Hanszen.
Hanszen Family Heart
Hanszen Family Heart is our term for the special connection we have with each other. It's being there
for your fellow Hanszenites, whether it's supporting each other at games and concerts
or picking each other up when we're down. It's always looking out for each other; always having each
others' backs. It's giving back to those in need,
through our Service committees or other ventures in our community. It's the caring that makes us a true
family.
Honey Badger
The honey badger is Hanszen's secondary mascot. They are well-known for their strength, tenacity, and
toughness, and represent how we strive to face adversity head-on.
Events
Crane Day
Started on February 15, 2001, Crane Day is one of the newer traditions around Hanszen. During the
construction of new Wiess, one of the cranes became unstable
and perilously loomed over Hanszen New Section. All of the students immediately evacuated, but rather
than going to class, they brought out a keg and decided
to throw a party. Hanszenites uphold this tradition with an all-day celebration.
Hanszen Halloween
In recent years, Hanszen has been known to give off spooky yet playful vibes, which we have embraced. We
have also been known to throw killer Halloween parties.
Float the Keg
Every semester, Hanszen sets aside money to fund your most extravagant ideas in a bracket-style
tournament called Float the Keg. As the name implies,
a keg is purchased and placed in the Upper Commons (for those of age, of course), while during the last
Cabinet before Fall Exams, Hanszenites gather and decide
which ideas to bring to life. Float the Keg has funded tings like a trampoline, a feast of cake pops, a
Roman-style spa, a ginormous cheese wheel, and even camel rides for the whole college.
Hanszen's Finest Hotties (previously known as Mr. Hanszen)
Every year, Hanszen's Service Committee holds a talent show, with the winner being crowned Hanszen's
Finest Hottie! The 2022 winner is Joselyn Lwigale,
who will competed in Rice's Finest this upcoming Spring. Previous acts have included karate sequences,
TikTok dances, a swimsuit contest,
an opera performance, stand-up comedy, and many more impressive acts. All of the proceeds go towards Camp Kesem,
a national organization that works to support children of parents suffering from cancer through a free
sleepaway summer camp.
Hanszen On Ice
During the holiday season, Hanszenites take over the ice skating rink at the Houston Galleria. We skate
around and take tons of pictures, including spelling out HFH
on the ice with the entire college!
And more...
There is simply not enough room on this website to describe all of our awesome events Hanszen throws
every year! Hanszen also does events like Galveston trips,
light saber battles, Deathball (commons dodgeball), concerts, and college nights.
Hanszen also loves funding new events, and these can be created by anyone! Hanszen's Cabinet sets aside
money from our budget to form the HFH General Fund,
so any Hanszenite with an event idea can use this money to throw study breaks and events for the
college.
Hanszenites in Galveston, 2018
Hanszen Shepherd Soiree, 2022
Smores is a classic study break at Hanszen
Mr. Hanszen 2021 candidates
Hanszenites in their yearly siege of the
Galleria's ice skating rink
As great as Hanszen is, everything has its drawbacks. Hanszen's is its eyesore of a neighbor, Wiess College. To
begin, they can't even spell their own name right (it's Weiss!).
Their building looks like a prison, their cult-like traditions are simply weird, and their mustard-looking
color, which they wrongly identify as Goldenrod, is vomit-inducing.
Our rivalry with Wiess extends to our cheers, jacks, and even college sports. For example, since Wiess's mascot
is the pig, each year when we play Wiess at Powderpuff,
we devour a full roasted pig and bacon on the sidelines as we cheer on our women. While our rivalry is (mostly)
facetious, conside yourself lucky to be a member of the
objectively better college of the two. Below are some of the ways we like to celebrate our rivalry:
Jailbreak
During O-Week and Beer Bike Week, benevolent Hanszen liberates Wiessmen from the prison that is their own
existance with a jack we call Jailbreak. Late at night,
we blast Hanson's "Mmmbop" in the Wiess quad and loudly knock on all their doors while they futilely attempt to
retaliate with water balloons.
Weiss Wall
On a normal day, Wiessmen reach the academic quad by crossing through the Hanszen quad through a passageway near
the Hanszen Commons. During Beer Bike Week,
Hanszen prevents Wiessmen from trespassing onto our property by erecting a wall in this passageway so that they
have to take a much longer route to class.
Then, we sit in the commons and watch confused Wiessmen try to get by, sometimes getting splashed in the face by
an automatic sprinkler or pelted by fruit lobbed
over the wall. During Weiss Wall 2021, an UberEats deliverer was on his way to Hanszen when he was nearly
trampled by savage Wiessmen attacking our sturdy wall.
